Decisions, Decisions...

So, looming, once again, is Yoga School.

I have been wanting it, salivating over it, dreaming about it, for the last two years, and finally it is within my reach. I've done the math, I've gone over and over it: I can do it. If I really want it, I can make it work.

The thing standing in my way: Me. Well, Actor me is standing in my way. Yoga me says yes yes yes. Yoga me knows what an incredible thing it would be for me, how empowering and crystallizing it would be, and how much it could really only add, not only to my "self" (which is so deeply inseperable from myself as an actor) but to my ability to shape my career as I want it. Actor me has some other things to say. Actor me is horrified that I would think of turning down theatre work from now until January. Actor me has a million "what ifs". Actor me is worried I would be admitting defeat, or asking for it.

Yoga me would like to remind myself that this is something I am desperate to do, something that feeds me, and that, ultimately, will allow me more creative freedom and repose in my life. And also I might be good at it. And also I love it.

But work! Says Actor Me, how can I say no to work? How can I make myself unavailable for WORK?! What will happen? Won't I fall off the face of the planet?

I have the decision sitting in my hand, a little bird. But right now my fingers are cupped around it and I can not let it fly.