How To Get Things Done

1.  Map out some time, really decide, "okay, dangit, I'm going to check these things off my to-do list, starting at ___ AM/PM sharp, and nothing's gonna stop me!"

2.  When the allotted time comes around--well, you should probably get something to eat, shouldn't you?  Before you really sit down and start plugging away? You don't want to try and be productive on an empty stomach...you'll just end up staring off into space.

3.  Postpone allotted time by 45 minutes so you can eat.

4.  Okay, NOW it's time.  Make sure you have a space to work in that's clutter free and pleasing to be in.

5.  Postpone allotted time another 45 minutes/ 1 hour so that you can clean the living room.  You can't work while there are napkins on the coffee table, now can you?

6.  Alright, now the sun is going down, your space is prepared, you are ready to W-O-R-K.  Oh wait, oh shit...you forgot to call your mom!  Argh!  Well, you're not going to do that right now, that will take too long, but you can at least write it down.  Yes, write it down.

7.  Find a pen and paper to write down that you need to call your mom.  While you're at it, you may as well start a to-do list of things you need to do after you finish all the things you are currently to-do-ing.

8.  Check your bank balance.  (You remembered while writing down your additional to-dos that you were supposed to check on that one deposit that was supposed to go through today, and this will only take a second so you may as well get it done now.)

9.  Spend several minutes doing some mad figuring as to how exactly you're going to cover that deposit that was supposed to go through but didn't.  Break out into cold sweat.

10.  Okay.  Phew!  Your space is clear, you feel comforted by your new list of tasks, you've transfered money from your savings to your checking and promised yourself (once again) that you'll be better about that from now on....just stretch out those hands and start getting down to busi--wait.  Eeew, why do your hands smell like that?

11.  Wash hands.  Pee.  Wash hands again.  Wash face.  Think about what it is you're about to sit down and accomplish while checking out forehead bumps in mirror.

12.  This is good, no this is really good...it's good to be clean before you begin any kind of serious work.  What is that called?  Doing your ablutions?   Ugh, it's ___ PM and you're already tired.  Why is it so hard to get things accomplished around here?  It's this apartment...the light is weird.  You know what, yes...

13.  Get up and adjust curtains.  There.  That's better.

14.  Okay, goddamnit, just sit down and stop fiddling around.  Just put the pillow on your lap and your computer on the pillow and Get. To. It.

15.  Realize that you've just wasted an hour and a half doing absolutely nothing.  

16.  Wonder if your procrastination would make a funny blog post.

17.  Realize that "write blog post" is one of the things on your to-do list.

18.  Ta-da!!!  


Ta-done.