Classes: 12:30-1:30pm, "Flower Hour", Mary Dana; 2-3:00pm, "Lotus Hour", Vanessa.My friend was supposed to meet me at the 2pm class today, but I just for some reason couldn't bear the idea of only going to class for an hour, so I did something I've always wanted to do: back-to-back classes.
I had second thoughts about this, about halfway through the first class when, because of (ahem) hormonal issues and various angst, I felt like I was dragging my body through mud in every pose. My lower half felt like it weighed 1,000 pounds and I considered, for a moment, telling my friend that I would be sitting out in the lobby waiting for her after she finished the 2 o'clock class, on her own.
I was given an out, however, when said friend left me a message saying she probably wasn't going to make the 2PM, and I could meet her afterwards instead. I considered crossing my name off the list for the class and skipping it right along with her, but something compelled me forward. I'm pretty sure the "something" was the impressed accolades from some of the LL staff when they saw me putting my name down for the 2nd class. How could disappoint them? (And give up all that nice ego-stroking...)
Turns out, to my pleasant surprise, back-to-back classes ROCK! It was about 10 or 15 minutes into class #2 when I broke through some kind of wall, on the other side of which was Magic Yoga Playland. My lethargy and heaviness and muddy mind vanished, like bugs slamming into a bug-zapper. And, my grade-A super-duper revelation for the day?
I am a body, breathing.
There is no way to truly explain this, except to say, at a certain point, while trying to pay attention to the breath coming in and out of my belly (as I am a bit obsessed with learning how to breath with parts of my body other than the tiny landing strip of my upper-chest) I simultaneously noticed the breath coming in and out of my lungs, and in and out of my diaphragm and in and out of my back, and breath sliding across and through my nostrils and down the back of my throat--I noticed all of it at once, all happening in partnership and at the same time and the thought occurred to me, I am a body, breathing. I am a body, breathing. I am in space, in this room--composed of these arms and legs and this face--and I am moving in this particular way, but the largest truth I can muster about who I am and what my place is in the universe is simply: I am a body, breathing. And everything else, everything else, is imaginary. As much as it is in my mind. Not worthless, but not nearly as solid and true as this shape that I am, breathing in and out.
In short: push through the muddy stuff, because on the other side is clear blue water.
