That's right, even the word overwhelmed is not overwhelming enough for this post. Take that, dictionary.
First of all, just to be clear...I realize that I have nothing to complain about in this department. I do not work three or more unfulfilling minimum wage jobs. I do not have children or pets to take care of. I do not have one of those lives where sometimes I have to be up for 18 hours in a row and then just come home and catch a few hours of sleep before I get up and do it all over again. I do not have to do any of these things, and anyone who DOES have to do any of these things, if you're reading this, I suggest you turn off this blog right away and go take a nap, for god's sake!
Anyhoo...for a lady who doesn't really have much (comparatively) weighing on her in the responsibility department, I sure am feeling full up with to-do lists and futurizing. (wedding, wedding, wedding, yoga, yoga, yoga, blog, blog, blog). Though even for all my busy-ness I still have at least an hour or two during the day, everyday, where I'm just sort of aimlessly wandering around my apartment, trying to decide what the "best" thing to do next might be.
(All too often it ends up being green tea and Hulu, but that's another story.)
Are there people in the world who don't have this problem?
Yes, Lia...please open your edition of "people who have changed the world" to any page and point to...anyone. Yes, that's right, ALL of those people knew how to effectively time-manage. (Also, Will Smith. I'm pretty sure Will Smith is, like, busy all day long making things generally better and more expensive in the world.)
Sigh. Will...I've let you down, once again.
But, okay, here's the deal...the reason that overwhelmment is so, well...overwhelming, is because it's the by-product of one (me) trying to do something (by doing everything, all at once) that is actually physically impossible.
I'm no scientist, but I do know the following:
It is NOT possible to be somewhere other than where you are.
It is NOT possible to exist in the past and/or the future. Period. Not possible, folks.
It is NOT possible to do more than one thing at a time.*
*a short dialogue on why this is true even if you think it's not:
Me: oooh, beg to differ, do you?
Other Me: yes, indeed i do. for instance, what if I'm listening to the radio and, you know, washing the dishes...that's doing two things at the same time.
Me: well, actually...that's doing two things alternately, back and forth, in short intervals...but most likely, you're sort of coming in and out of listening to the radio as you come in and out of washing the dishes. most likely you're not actually doing those two things at once, in the same instance.
Other Me: oh, hmm.
Me: it's a common mistake.
So, it makes sense that when we try to bend the laws of physics...we might get a little cranky.
And it's in these moments where a yoga practice becomes actual and dynamic and useful in one's real-life life. Namaste, y'all. Because, even if you come into a yoga class with your motor revved to high-gear, and your list of plans circling wildly through your head, the perfect storm of the class--which is the combined impact of the attention to the breath, the movement of the body, and the persistance of the teacher reminding you to pay attention--will (or should) ultimately sloooooooow you down. You might be resistant at first. You might think, no, wait...what's going to happen to me if I'm not keeping track of all this stuff?! But eventually that list of yours will be forcibly pulled from your hand and you'll be left with just...what's actually there.
Your breath.
Your body.
The feel of the air against your face.
And that's it. (Because that's always it.) As I write this, I am thinking that I have all kinds of things...I think that I have a wedding to plan and a class to teach and a fiance driving home to me, but really, when I look around, what do I have? (Deep breath.) My breath. My body. The feel of the keys under my fingers. That little crink in my neck. The sound of some birds outside.
And that's it.
Which doesn't mean that all those other things aren't real, and certainly doesn't mean that I'm preaching presence as an escape hatch to get away from all the various things that lift us up or press us down, but just simply that in order to even begin to be with those things, in order to even begin to be able to handle/accomplish/love these things in our lives. There has to be space for them.
So, Shanti-towners...if you can just take a minute, right now...as soon as you're done reading this...if you can just take a minute to close your eyes and take one simple uninterrupted breath, two things might happen. A. You might just have become a yogi, and B. you might suddenly have more space in which to perform all of your requisite duties.
I for one am off to go wash some dishes (and listen to some NPR)...please don't tell Will Smith.
