Not Yet Neanderthal Bride...

It's sort of horrifying that if you do a Google Image search for pictures of "stressed bride" you mainly get pictures back of brides LOSING their f-ing MINDS.  The photo above is one of the few I could find that didn't make me feel like I was succumbing to some kind of crazy sexist bridezilla mongering.  This is the cultural signifier for bride-dom I guess, just lots of pictures of women turning into raging you-know-whats...there were even several cartoon images of brides dragging their grooms around by the hair.

Yikes.

Please don't concern yourselves, Shanti-towners...there are very few things in this world that could compel me to drag my groom around by his hair.  One would be if there was some kind of natural disaster, he was passed out, and for some reason the only part of his body that I had access to, in order to rescue him from the burning building or what-have-you, was his hair.  The second would be if he thought that it would be fun.

I can't think of a third right now...

Which is a nice segue into my next point: that, currently, I am having trouble keeping much of my focus on anything that isn't wedding related.  I'm mustering all my non-wedding energy to get my ass to class both to practice and to teach, but that means, unfortunately, that my blogging/podcasting/ruminating has fallen a bit by the wayside.  Temporarily.

I've been feeling particularly guilty about this, as I have lots of new readers...hello out there!  Who I'm very excited to have here.  (Um...whom?  Should that be "whom I'm very excited to have here"?)  And I just want you to know that I'm around, I haven't gone anywhere, I've just been solving last-minute dress and venue issues and generally obsessing about all things wedding, and am determined not to accidentally turn Shanti-town into a wedding blog in the interim!  So, you'll just have to forgive me if my posting regularity dwindles to only once or twice per week over the next couple months.

I love you, Shanti-towners and I am, at this very minute, composing a juicy post about open hips, butchering of Indian names, and why I shouldn't pretend to know more about Indian holidays than I do....Oh, and why Louis C.K. is a goddamn genius.

Stay tuned!!

Looking for a Soul --I mean, Wedding Dress

 I am watching "What Not to Wear" and trying to figure out who in my life I could fenagle into nominating me for a make-over, but unfortunately I'm not a moon-boot wearing recovering alcoholic/former party girl or an adult woman who dresses like a 12 year old, so I don't know if I'd really be eligible.  (Though there are days people, there are days...I think if Stacy London were to see me on the street on one of my fuzzy-hair cowboy boots and stretch pants days...she might consider me a viable candidate for the show).

But you know what's sad, it's not even the CLOTHES that I covet, it's the change-your-life via wardrobe makeover, which is so seductive.  And here we have the secret pull of all of these competition reality shows...whether it's losing weight or changing your look or remodeling your house, the unspoken (or hell, sometimes very spoken) agreement is that the contestants will undergo some kind of soul transformation by way of improved body/clothes/living situation.  Which is just...it's the big lie that pervades everything.  Take care of this one sticky spot in your life...fill that one black hole, and VOILA!  Instant and total rebirth.

This, it turns out, is also the secret promise behind BUYING A WEDDING DRESS.

Seriously, people...if you're a married or affianced woman you may know what I'm talking about (so just gimme an AMEN), because when you step into a bridal boutique you very quickly get initiated into the mythology of finding the perfect dress.  It's like some strange tribal reenactment of the search for a mate.  Scan the field for what attracts you, bring some of your favorites into the back room for a "try on", parade them out in front of your female friends (maybe even your mother!), get the assessment from the peanut gallery and then engage in a lot of conversation about how you'll "know it when you see it", and how you have to "wait for the right one"...etc., etc., etc.  Until finally that magic moment arrives when you've found your perfect match!  And everyone cries!  And then you hand over more money than you've ever spent on any single item of clothing ever in your life.

Phew!  (I haven't done that last part yet...)

I've been feeling some frustration about the above lately (not just the dress part...the whole strange world of the wedding industrial complex), but I'm trying to wave my magic yoga wand over the whole situation and realize that part of the whole FANTASY that surrounds being a bride, getting married, making some kind of "perfect" day, is born from the same desire that makes us think a brand new wardrobe and a better haircut can change our lives.  We want transformation. We want transformative acts and events to populate our lives.  And somewhere, deep down, we all think that if we can just get this one thing (or one day) RIGHT, then maybe all the other stuff that clouds our vision will lift.

But the truth is that a new wardrobe soon turns old, hair grows out, houses age, and even a perfect wedding dress eventually gets put away somewhere to gather dust.  And if there's one overarching goal of the yoga practice, it is to wake us up to the reality that the most vital, beautiful, perfectly matched thing you can hope to acquire is your own quiet sleeping soul.  For me, this has been the greatest gift of the practice...that as much as I might WANT to want some outer vehicle for my own satisfaction, I have felt my heart open (sometimes only for a moment) and in the face of that, everything else pales in comparison.

Though $5000 to buy a new wardrobe on TLC's dime...that would be pretty good, too.