Coastal Opposites

Shanti-towners!  I'm here!  I promise!  The big day is fast approaching (zee wedding), and things are getting a little nutso in the Aprile/Willis household, so please forgive my sporadic blog absences.

Last week we were in Brooklyn, taking care of some business and having our respective bachelor and bachelorette parties.  All I have to say about that is that at one point during the evening I was being paraded down the streets of NYC wearing a red feather boa, some body jewelry that made me look like I'd broken out in a cubic zirconia rash, a "Miss Bachelorette" sash, my very man-ish sunglasses, and a crown of plastic penises.

Yes, you read that right.

At one point during this delightfully humiliating journey, a woman entered the elevator we were giggling in, took one look at me and said, very demurely, "do you realize you have falluses on your head?"

Yes, I told her. Yes, I am.

But, this is not my point, Shanti Towners! (though it was a great night, and I'm very thankful to everyone who was there and who made it that way).

Ahem.

There were two things, outside of all the wedding festivities and the sweet time with my mister that I was most excited about for the trip to NY:

1.  A visit to my beloved Laughing Lotus.  For weeks leading up to my trip I was fantasizing about whose classes I would take--salivating over the prospect of moving and breathing and sweating in the way only Laughing Lotus can get me to move and breathe and sweat.  And;

2.  A visit to the new Anusara studio that has opened up in my DUMBO neighborhood.  Anusara is just now starting to make it's way into the yoga forefront in New York, and I was really looking forward to taking a class at this new studio (a block and a half from our apartment, no less!  Where was this place 2 years ago?!).

The class at Abhaya Yoga, the anusara studio in DUMBO, came first.  The studio itself is GORGeous.  It's on the 6th floor of one of the big warehouse-y buildings in the neighborhood, and the windows of the room look out over the east river and the manhattan bridge.  Ah, sigh. Right away upon arriving the teacher introduced herself to me, which bode well, and I set myself up in the back-ish row of the class, prepared for some Anursara, east-coast style.  It was a small group in the class--just five or six people--which I'm familiar with from my own teach-ifiying at newer studios in Los Angeles.  And she seemed sweet, the teacher, and knowledgeable...

I'm hesitating a little here, because this teacher obviously knew her stuff, obviously cared deeply about the practice, and even though I spent the first half of class being annoyed by the way she was cooing at me, and everyone else, like beginners (Moi?! A beginner?! I think noooooot!)--even with all that, she was relentless in her likeability, and I knew that I was just being kind of piggy anyhow, silently demanding to be acknowledged.  (Very yogic, I know.)  So, I didn't dislike her (not by the end, at least), and she did this great splits-up-the-wall thing that I am immediately stealing and adding to my repertoire.  So it was by no means a baaaaaaaaaad class.

But I still walked away disappointed.

The practice, while smart--I could tell she was opening up the body in the right away and building up toward something--was so...herky-jerky.  It was my least favorite kind of sequencing: Do a pose.  Stop.  Do another pose.  Stop.  Do another pose.  Etc., etc., etc.  There was no linking together of movement, whatsoever, no transitioning from one place to another--just: do this...and then that...and then that.

I know that this isn't uncommon, and is a totally valid way of teaching, but for me...for my little over-active brain...I need the fluidity of movement.  I need to feel like I'm traveling through my practice.  I need something to connect me really fully with my breath, and to get me to start actually feeling the movement of energy in my body, and the movement of my body in my space.

There was none of that.  And I missed it.

So, the next day, when it came time for Laughing Lotus-a-rama...I was even more excited for class.  (My excitement was only slightly dulled by the hangover from my bachelorette party the night before.  Thank you late-night tequila shots.)  I was ready to moooooooooove.  To floooooooow.  And, though I was disappointed that my NY schedule was only going to allow me time for one class, and only an hour-long one at that, I managed to time it out so I could take with one of my favorite teachers at the Lotus.  Ali Cramer. Fire-y goddamn goddess that she is.

The class was packed--not uncommon for a late-afternoon Friday Lotus class--there might have been close to 50 people in the room, and we were mat to mat to mat.  Which, I know drives some  people bonkers about popular studios, but I kind of love it...especially when we're moving.  And move we did.  Ali is a genius sequencer (later that night I actually lulled myself to sleep by re-remembering some of the best transitions from the afternoon's class).  I get a lot of deep visceral joy from moving the way we move in a Lotus class and unlike the teacher at the Anusara studio, Ali is someone I feel particularly SEEN by.  Even with that many people in class, I know she knows I'm there, and I know she's reading my joy and she likey.

So, it was great, people, it was a great class.  No surprise there, because Ali is an amazing teacher.

But...

Oh gosh.

I still left a little...disappointed.

I mean, SO MUCH of what I love is contained in those classes...so much creative, soulful, graceful, rockin' expression.  But, I also have this new hunger that I didn't have before...something that's been nurtured since living in LA...and that's the hunger to slow down and to go deep.  To take real time in some of the poses and explore and breathe and tinker.  And when it's not there...I miss it.

So, for the last few days I've been thinking about these two classes--each of them on exact opposite ends of the spectrum in terms of what I'm exploring and interested in--thinking only, THIS is the gap I am trying to bridge.  And wondering...is it possible to create a class that is both creatively sequenced, rhythmic and hypnotic AND one which contains slow deep alignment work?

It seems to me that the goal of a Vinyasa class, like the kind taught at the Lotus, is not so much about the body as it is about the spirit.  The breath, the chanting, the ceaseless movement...it's really about liberating a body FROM the body and putting him or her right in contact with prana.  With the flow--with that mysterious movement of that even more mysterious life-force.

And, if the Vinyasa is a telescope, moving one through the practice in order to get a bigger and bigger view of the universe, then Anusara is a microscope, just honing deeper and deeper in on the little machinations of the body.  Sure, yes, the ultimate goal is still freedom, but in the Anusara, it's deeply rooted in the proper alignment of the flesh (in the hopes that alignment will then consequently align the mind and the heart). And it's not so much about the ecstatic devotional joy like the Vinyasa.

I find myself often in my teaching moving in one direction and then the other, trying to find a middle ground...moving and then restraining.  Going slow and deep and then revving back into movement again.  I think it's possible, it must be, to taste both the wide expansive view and the deep subtle interior in a single class.  Because, this isn't an unfamiliar struggle.  Even the planning of our wedding has felt like this at times--a movement between big bold strokes of creativity and the quiet subtle changes that come from deep conversation and silent soul-searching.  It's just a movement between these two things...trying to let one inform the other, in the hopes that, in the end, something will arise which will contain both.  The quiet and the wild.  The still and the rhythmic.

Is it possible, Shanti Towners?  I sure hope so....

Comings and Goings...

Happy 2010 Shanti-Town-ers!!

Twwwweeeeeeeeeeee!! (that's the sound of me blowing one of those new year's noisemakers.)

What kind of cra-zay New Year's did this yogini have? Weeeeell, after a 10 hour cross-country flight, an amazing (and much deserved) Indian dinner, several glasses of wine and a rousing game of "Hamburger, Hotdog" (a little like the game "celebrity" but with less rules)...this little monkey was crawling into bed around 11:45pm and not feeling the least bit guilty about it. The moon was full and blue, and I slept soundly, KNOWING that 2010 is going to be par excellente. More on the special numerology of 2010 later...for now, some stories of my travels.

Many of you may know that I spent the Christmas holiday in New York. Beloved New York. I've not been back since we came out to LA in March and I had been longing for every little bit and bauble of the city--especially at Christmas. I don't think there's a better place on earth at Christmas time than New York, if you're a Christmas junkie like I am. AND, I will admit it, I was particularly excited to get to practice once again at my dearly missed Laughing Lotus. I was practically salivating with desire just thinking about getting in that elevator, walking down that hallway, and doing the strange dance required in the tiny coat room when trying to remove boots and hats and coats amongst all the other yog-sters, coming and going.

Ladies and gents, we flew a red-eye from LA to New York, slept in our precious bed for a few hours and by 5pm that day I was in that elevator on my way up to the warm, radiator-clanking joy of the Lotus.

Even Mr. X was there! Grumpy as ever!

Betsy was teaching, one of my favorite teachers there, and she greeted me with a warm hug and a quick update as to her goings on when I arrived. I was both excited and scared about the possibility of walking into the studio and either A. seeing a bunch of people I knew and having to tell my travel story over and over or B. not seeing many people I knew, but expecting to, and feeling like an embarrassed stranger in my old studio.

It was a bit closer to B, than A.

The girls at the front desk were new (and one of them was a little snarky, in that yoga front desk way), and for the most part I only recognized a few of the students there. But Betsy was teaching, the studio was buzzing and as soon as the music started and my body got to follow along I was in HEAVEN. I was lucky enough to practice next to a lovely guy (who looked a little like Baron Baptiste...bandana and all) who had a very deep, graceful practice, and after class we thanked each other for the good vibes that come from being neighbors with somebody who is lit up. (Lit up as in drunk on yoga...) And I was FLYING after class. I'm in New York! I'm at Laughing Lotus! I'm drinking post yoga hot chocolate from City Bakery with my baby...life is goooood.

Next class was with Ali, another of my very favorites, and she made my year (what was left of it) when she sidled up to me halfway through class, during some vigorous set of standing poses, and told me how good it was to see me. I could have planted the flag right then. That's it--I'm staying! Screw this career nonsense...I'm going to wear an entirely Lulu Lemon inspired wardrobe and stay Right Here.

After this class, also...flying. Soaring. And, also...something else. A bit.... Um. Vaguely...just a teensy weensy little bit...dissatisfied.

I had this fear that after so many months of intense alignment work of the kind I'd been doing in LA, that going back to the quick and rigorous flow practice at Laughing Lotus would sort of...kick my ass. I worried that I wouldn't have the mojo any more for the fast stuff and that I would prove myself to be weaker and less resilient in my practice than I was before I left. But the funny thing is, the opposite actually seemed to be true. The practice at Laughing Lotus was flying by and at the end I didn't feel winded or sweaty or even...done. And I felt myself longing for some more complicated standing poses...for deeper hip openers and handstands! Where were the handstands? Not that they don't do handstands at Laughing Lotus, they do...and not that the classes I was taking there weren't great...they were! Amazing! As always. Betsy and Ali are two of the best teachers I've ever taken from, and Laughing Lotus I still firmly believe is the best yoga studio in New York, but having been away made me see that something had changed...me.

Was I, gulp, missing my LA practice? Yes, I guess I was. But it was something bigger than that even...I began to realize, as I lept back into my former practice, that the work I have been doing at Still has made my practice infinitely better. I could feel it. I was stronger, I was better aligned, I was using my body and my breath more efficiently during practice and I was able to do so much more now, even in the faster more free-form version of the practice, than I could before I left.

And as my week in NYC progressed, every time I walked out of a class I found myself feeling very grateful to Still and my teachers there. I began to feel so blessed that I had found that studio so quickly upon arriving in LA. I felt so grateful for being welcomed into the studio as a whole...for the support and encouragement of all the teachers there, for Erika, the owner of the studio, who has let me dive into a work-study position there...and I realized that Still has become as much of a home to me in LA as Laughing Lotus has been in New York.

On our last day in Brooklyn, as we were starting to pack for the flight home, I began to fantasize about the quiet incense-scented air at Still, the long hallway to the studio in the back, about Hagar and Maria Christina and Tony and Tara and Gina and all the other teachers there whom I have come to love, the classes that start a little late and end a little late and go deep deep deep into silence...

And I could not wait to get back.

New Teachers, New Loves...

I've realized that I have not spoken too much about the teachers I have been taking from in LA...my New York favorites have odes written to them by me in this blog, but I have remained a bit tight-lipped about the Los Angeles lovelies.

Part of this, I have to admit, is a slow to retreat loyalty to my dear sweet Laughing Lotus. Oh my, I miss that studio. It was my home as a developing yogi in New York and there have been many times since coming to LA in which I have fantasized (I kid you not) about running back to New York just to be able to practice there again.

Don't get me wrong, the yoga in LA is great, and I was lucky enough to encounter Steven Espinosa (the great, the inimitable) as my very first Los Angeles yoga teacher and he promptly Blew. My. Mind. So, my seperation anxiety was kind of quelled from day one. But I miss the Lotus all the same. I miss Bryn and Stacey and Edward (now an Angelino himself, but not teaching currently), and Mary Dana and Alison and Sheri and all of them all of them. I miss getting off the crowded streets, riding the clunkly old elevator up to the studio and taking off my shoes for the first time all day. I miss hearing the traffic sounds waft up through open windows during the summer months at the studio. I miss the music and the radiator clunking in winter and oh god, I can barely continue...

You don't know until you leave a place, how deeply it's buried itself in you.

I have these sad little day dreams about Laughing Lotus, made all the sadder because I don't know if I am missed. Students come and go...that's the way of things, and by now I'm sure I am a bit of a memory there, and I can't help but admit that I have some deep heart pangs about that.

But look at me! This post is supposed to be about NEW teachers, and here I am waxing poetic about the radiator sounds, for gosh sakes.

Ahem. So. New teachers. Yes. Steven? I mentioned Steven? Yes...Steven Espinosa, god of yoga. Steven is my connector in the world of LA yoga and I owe my finding a home at Still Yoga in Silverlake entirely to him. He introduced me to Anusara and then graciously helped me to find a place for myself as a work-study student at Still, where I now spend many hours a week, sweating it out.

Side Note: I never thought I could really enjoy a yoga class without amazing music, but it turns out...I can! And I do, many times a week. I think the LA yogis think music is a bit blasephmous (I don't. And sometimes I make little fantasy mixes up in my head..."this is what I would play, if I were teaching...").

Anyhooooo, where was I? Ah, yes. The teaches.

Well, I'm not going to go through them one by one (not yet anyhow), but I will say that there are some AMAZING teachers in this fair city.

Like this one,

And this one

And this one

And also this one. This one has a blog, like me, and it is beautiful, and so is she. I'm going to be keeping an eye on her internet goings-on, whilst continuing to be inspired by her on a weekly basis in class...

These are not the ONLY wonderful teachers, of course, but they are the ones who are becoming my family of teachers here in LA, and I feel so blessed to have them. There has been so much that has been chaotic and unknown about the experience of coming here, and being able to return again and again to the studios at Still has been a hinge-pin for me in this city. No one can replace my first teachers (Jasmine! I love you!), and probably no studio can replace my home studio, but going to Still reminds me that moving forward can provide a respite all its own.

Thank you, to all of my teachers, East and West...

I'm going to go cry a little bit for the big apple now...

xo

YogaLia

You can always come back...

Wow. So. Where have I been?

Well, I will spare you from condensing 3 months into a single blog post..."you", if there is still a "you" out there. Sigh. I've been thinking about this blog, again and again, especially as my life changes and my practice changes and each affects the other...and so tonight I have reserved just this small space of time to write a little, to get back on solid footing here in Shanti Town, and to set the stage for a forward movement.

The short of it is, I am in Los Angeles, going on 6 weeks now, with 6 more to go (perhaps more...but that is the long of it), and so many things are upside down...in the best way upside down. I won't go into all the actor-schmactor parts of it, as this place is a reprieve from that particular dragon...but I will say this:

1. I miss Laughing Lotus! Not only can I not (at the moment) afford my glorious unlimited monthly yoga, but finding a kick-ass Vinyasa class in this town (that isn't an hours drive away) is no easy feat.

2. Anyusara is all the rage here and I'm actually pretty taken with it. In particular with a teacher named Stephen Espinosa who I would follow around the world. He is...I can not describe the gift of teaching that this man possesses...he will get his own post later on! Ode to Stephen Espinosa...coming soon, right here at Shanti Town!

3. LA has one up on NY in this: (ahem, drumroll please)...FREE YOGA EVERY DAY OUTSIDE IN RUNYON CANYON PARK. Okay, people. Freeeeeeeee OUTDOOR yoga! Walking distance from my apartment! Outside! Now, it's an open level situation so there aren't the crazy hardcore poses I live for, but in this economic client (i.e. my tiny bank balance) the free yoga is the best thing that could ever happen to me.

4. The giant dip in my daily walking level and the lack of the Lotus is making for a slightly grumpy body. My goal for the next couple weeks: to find a studio or a practice change that bumps the intensity up a notch so that I can stop wasting time pinching my belly in front of the mirror.

5. I miss you all and I love you and I promise to catch you up more and better soon, soon, soon.

Love,
YogaLia

365 Days of Yoga - Days 21-31

10 Days. An overview...

1/20/09 - Hooray! Hooray! Tears...laughing...calls home...much text-messaging. Hooray! Slight sinking feeling that either I am not doing enough, or I really ought to quit what I AM doing and go save the world in some small (or preferably LARGE way). Early AM yoga class.

1/21/09 - This is the first day of the rest of my life. I am accessing my Inner Obama and I am going to make. Things. Happen. (Translation: finally dropped in to see my commercial agents after putting it off for months). Nighttime yoga, followed by a healthy cleaning of the studio bathrooms.

1/22/09 - Barely slept. Cancelled an appointment I should have kept. Did about 5 minutes of yoga and spent the rest of my time trying to overcome the fact that I have NOTHING to wear. Certainly not to LA. Where I would be departing that evening. For which trip I had the worst 2 hour trip to the airport of my life. I hate the stress of being late...even if you're not actually late but think you're going to be. Especially for a plane. Which I ended up on with no food, no water, no headphones, and a seat that wouldn't recline.

1/23/09-1/26/09 - I LOVE LOS ANGELES. (Except for the part where my beloved had the stomach flu and we had to stay in a hotel for a day so he could sleep and not contaminate anyone. Poor baby. But I didn't catch it! So I was still having a grand old time...). Did yoga in our tiny hotel rooms and on the floors of friends places...10 minutes at a time. Every day, folks. Every day.

1/27/09 - Back to reality. Which includes the revisions of my play that need to be done for tomorrows rehearsal and which, I have not finished. I spend 5 hours straight this morning pounding away at the script, sneak in a half-hour home practice, and then off to work. Whereat...I notice that my tummy feels a little...bit...funny.

Uh-oh.

1/27-1/28/09 - Hard Core Puking.*

1/29/09 - Recovering from above.*

*Addendum to 365 Day Plan: On days where one's insides are struggling to come outside, yoga practice for these days is excused.

1/30/09 - Totally frazzled crazed finishing of rewrites...a rehearsal wherein I don't know if the play has gotten better or worse, and my first day back among the living. So glad to be eating again.

1/31/09 - My first class back at the Lotus. Hallelujah! Did I mention that I started my period the DAY after I got over the flu? Oh yeeah, that's sweet. It seems that since I didn't get a chance to experience a real bout of PMS (which, seriously folks, I get like nobody's business) I have decided to cram all of my grumpiness into the past two days so a hard-core 2 hour yoga class was a sweet sweet relief. I felt like I was flying through the whole thing...only problem was that my mind kept wandering into the same fantasy of me auditioning for a certain reality television show that I will not mention but to which I am heartily addicted, however, am a bit too short and a lot too...healthy...to ever be competitive on. You know what show I'm talking about? It's fiiiiiiierce. Let's just say that in the fantasies, while the judges don't really know what to do with me, they do LOVE me, and I take the fashion world by storm! Namaste.